Burn your bridges little boy blue
by Etiquette Darling
Summary: What is your problem?. Finn's not the father. A little speculation for thought. Rated for language because you just know that Mercedes and Puck have foul mouths in the uncensored non TV world *one shot*


**AN**: Just some speculation for one of the pictured scenes in the promo, an unexpected moment between Puck and Mercedes.

**THAT BEING SAID:** I own nothing, if I did there would be a lot more Kurt and Artie being generally amazing, Puck would swear A LOT and there'd be a little less use of the word 'real' following the second time you kissed a girl while you were still with your cheerleading girlfriend.

Enjoy.

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Puck thinks it's probably a bad thing that the image of a pissed off girl standing in front of him is something he's getting used to and if he didn't know that Mercedes' dad's a dentist and that she lives in a very comfortable part of town, he would think she looks like she's about to go ghetto on him and cut a bitch. Not that that's completely out of the realm of possibility. She's turning around to face him and has this expression on her face that says something along the lines of 'Oh _HELL_ no'.

(The one she always puts on when Rachel Berry fankicks too close to her face and he just knows that some bad shit's gonna' go down)

"What is your _problem_!?"

She walks towards him, her hand dragging across the piano as she turns away from the door that the teenaged girl had just ran out of, sobbing (the blonde one, whose shirt can't hide the bump of her stomach that he had most definitely not been staring at for the past week).

_Use your words Puck_. The phrase pops up into his mind and he's pretty sure that Kurt said them to him during a Glee practice once. The fact that the schools token fag has somehow turned into that little voice in the back of his head, the one that usually sounds like his mom, if possible pisses him off more. Because it's fucking bad enough that he has to share air with the kid without his voice suddenly popping up giving him fucking 'conflict resolution' seminars.

The fact he wasn't talking did seem to stop Mercedes from carrying on (it never did with girls).

"You're acting like a complete asshole" she's in the process of staring him down, her arms cross and if Puck wasn't resisting the urge to find the nearest freshmen and beat the crap out of them he probably would have been intimidated, not that she would have been able to tell, either way. "She's the one 'with child', not you, you don't have an excuse for acting like some pissy little bitch all the time"

Puck's pretty sure he feels a vein in his eyelid twitch as he lets out a patented 'Noah Puckerman' scoff.

"It's not my fault _Juno_'s feeling teary today; I don't have to pussy foot around things just to keep her happy"

"_You compared her to a hippo!_"

Puck had only said it because wheelchair kid (_Artie_, he almost corrects himself) had mentioned in passing that he had kept his eyes glued on the growing bump under Quinn's shirt for the entire of glee rehearsal. Which he hadn't. And even if he had it was only because she was standing right in front of him and if it was his kid he was allowed to glace at it, _her_, occasionally. But they didn't know it was his kid, so he couldn't really justify it.

Plus, Rachel Berry was giving him this look like they were suddenly in the 'pining after our taken significant other' club, with those big sympathetic eyes like she _got what he was going through_. So he had said the thing about the hippo just to wipe that stupid expression off her face and to shut Art-wheelchair kid, up. It had worked too until Quinn had burst into tears and everyone followed her out of the rehearsal leaving Puck to be eaten alive by Mercedes (because who knew that Mercedes was suddenly friends enough with Quinn to come to her rescue).

"Finn and Quinn are probably still freaked about the fact she's knocked up, and you being a _jerk_ isn't helping! I don't get why you have to do this to her, to them in general, Finn's meant to be your guy and you're just-"

Puck's eyes roll again because he's pretty sure Finn hasn't been 'his guy' since Quinn happened and the voice in the back of his head (the one which still sounds like fucking Kurt) has just told him to _use his words_ again.

The sound of her ranting coupled with the chattering of his very own jiminy cricket isn't helping his mood. His eyes look to the door, to the piano and to a spot just to the left of Mercedes head and he just wants them to both shut the hell up.

"Finn's not the father!"

(He notices with some satisfaction that this manages to shut up the both of them)

"Say, _What?_" She looks concerned for a second before her eyes narrow and the talking starts up again "is this your version of a stupid joke? Because I'm not laughing"

By this stage Puck's half way across the room, standing at the door, ready to leave and wait for the massive fallout that will come from him once again telling Glee's biggest loudmouth (who happens to be best friends, or fag hags or whatever, with a guy who determined himself WMHS's answer to freaking 'gossip girl' last week) Quinn's secret.

But he supposes that it doesn't really count as just hers anymore.

(And maybe it never was)

"Yeah well neither am I"

The door closes with a satisfying slamming noise and his conscience (he's decided that's what it must be, because anything else just makes him sound crazy) pipes up again.

_Well done Noah, and what exactly did that achieve?_

The tone has unmistakably changed from the judgemental girlish tones of Kurt and instead sounds harsh, and a little sad, (it mirrors a conversation from a few weeks ago on the bleachers as once again Finn waltzed someone out of his life).

He snorts, shoots a glare at a dawdling freshman and continues down the hallway.

(He doesn't know)

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Oh and you totally know that Mercedes would snap and call Puck on all his crap if she got the chance. (at least in my world) I'm not sure if I got her voice right (I am probably the whitest person you will ever meet) but the phrase "Pissy little bitch" just seems like something real life (not TV censored) Mercedes would say.

So I suppose you could look at that last part and read some Rachel/Puck from it (which was entirely unintentional by the way) but I think after the conversation they had on the bleachers (along with all the 'sorry for traumatising your early high school years', conversation) would have sort of infiltrated his brain just a little, in the same way that I think little things that Kurt says may stick in his mind without there being any romantic implications. But yeah, there isn't meant to be a ship in this really, but if you read on into it I really don't mind.

Anyway, Reviews are like my crack.


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